Heroin, carbs and a stable pay cheque

“The three biggest addictions are heroin, carbs, and a stable pay cheque” according to Nassim Taleb.

I’m inclined to believe him! I’m presently trying to get a grip of two of these addictions…Thankfully I have never battled with heroin, the closest I’ve got to substance abuse has been a tea addiction! I didn’t even realise I was addicted until I decided to give it up for Lent….and the hulk appeared every morning instead of the amenable me….and the headaches….awful, throbbing migraines. But I’m proud to say I went cold turkey and I am 5 years clean and haven’t looked back! I am now content with a satisfying cup of decaf….rock and roll!

The two main forms of carbohydrates are sugars, such as fructose, glucose, and lactose, and starches, which are found in foods such as starchy vegetables,grains, rice, breads, and cereals. The body breaks down (or converts) most carbs into the sugar glucose, which is absorbed into the bloodstream. In my eyes carbs are a necessary part of a balanced diet, but in excess carbs are evil, tasty morsels of doughy sweet pleasure!

I used to be a UK size 68, without making any effort. I was one of those people, you loved to hate as it took no effort to consume a few Big Macs and a side of nuggets and still look like I was about to run a triathlon.

Last week I stupidly made an impulsive online purchase, completely in size denial. A gorgeous size 8 skirt…..what decade was I size 8?! Oh how the mighty fall, that ship has sailed and lost at sea! I’m not sure if it’s age, post baby body or simply that I’ve used up my quota of taking the piss out of human physiology but I now have to actually think about what I eat, and the muscle memory has left the building. So carbs are not a friend, and my love of bread, and pasta, and pizza and rice, and fries and yams and all of the beautiful carbs of the world are becoming my nemesis.

Whilst breastfeeding I think I eat my body weight in carbs daily. It’s a seriously uncontrollable craving and a bowl of lettuce and quinoa just won’t cut it. So I have no plans to give up carbs, but definitely need to reconsider how much I consume and find myself some satisfying alternatives. I’ll be blogging about these alternatives as and when I find them. If you know of any please share! I’m not going to promise to cut out carbs but I will be more carb conscious and to that effect I’ll aim to reduce my intake significantly! She says as she runs to grab her imported custard creams!

Carbs and my attachment to a stable pay cheque…both arguably equally as destructive to my waistline. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life addicted to the high of getting my pay at the end of the month it has paralysed me into falling for the mythical safety net. It’s reassured me into almost sleep-walking into retirement in a job I’d rather not be doing, tolerating treatment I don’t deserve, second guessing my worth and relegating my dreams to mere fantasy. We all need an income, and we can’t all be entrepreneurs. There’s no shame in the stability and comfort of a regular pay cheque. But if your dreams are keeping you awake at night and your hands are itching to create your destiny you may be on the road to beating the pay cheque addiction. I’m confident I’ll always be able to find a job that will pay my bills and enable me to survive….but I won’t always have the passion and energy to take risks that could result in me creating my own destiny.

Scarily, the first month of the year is already almost over… That’s one twelfth of the year essentially done and dusted. I’ve only just finished writing my goals for the year, so I’ve missed 27 opportunities to work on achieving them. Yes it is that granula to me! Luckily I have plenty of days to make up for it, to stay focused and make my dreams a reality and I’m ready to go!

This year has already brought our family challenges that appear insurmountable and draining the energy we started with, but as our glass is always half full and even half full we’re willing to give a sip or two to those in a drought, we are persevering.

Addiction is real, cold turkey isn’t for everyone. I’m a rip the plaster off kind of girl with a high pain threshold and minimal patience. Know yourself. Do what’s best for you. Make yourself a priority. But don’t let addiction of any sort rule your life. Take back the control, and make life enhancing choices.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to get in touch. Before the arrival of my daughter I posted every Monday morning…once I come out of this sleep deprived funk, I’ll be posting regularly again(almost there!)! Please follow me on Medium, instagram, facebook and twitter

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