It’s a Wrap

2020 you’ve been educational! Like that aunty at a party you don’t know if you’re going to get a slap or a hug, I’ve been dealt with both in what feels like equal measure. The lows and highs have been life altering and with all the extra time we’ve all had to over think life, the process has been like trying to do a sudoku puzzle upside down. Now we’ve been thrust into chaos navigating another lockdown with our little people and all of the stresses that come with caring for them whilst trying to maintain our sanity, our health and our income. Controversially we pulled our children out before Boris’ announcement. We’re grateful to have options, that don’t come without pain and sacrifices but it was a no brainier for our family situation.

From Switzerland, to Germany, to Belgium and the Netherlands and back to London, the journey has been a roller coaster. I got my first speeding fine in Belgium (proud moment), consumed the best pancakes in the Netherlands and got sneezed on by a cheeky alpaca in Germany….clearly living the dream.

But here we are gratefully in 2021 shielding, home schooling, surviving, thriving.

So what have I learnt in 2020?

Slow down! Life doesn’t just happen and pass us by, we ignore it and disregard the beautiful moments and get sucked in by the negativity. Being forced to slow down has allowed me to open my eyes and acknowledge the simple things, its given me the time to focus on things I had previously neglected and forced me to be more appreciative and content. I try not to focus on losing control of what I thought were just basic rights, but perceive it as temporarily scaling down my freedom to achieve a collectively beneficial outcome. It seems to be working for me!

Relationships are for the mature. Pandemics and people that lack basic communication skills will come a cropper. Pandemics have the power to magnify the things you get to ignore whilst at work. All of a sudden we’ve been thrust into groundhog day, sometimes with loved ones who were barely tolerable on the weekend let alone all day everyday! It takes a huge dose of maturity and commitment to work through the intensity of such situations….work harder, no one is perfect….

Learn to enjoy your own company. If you don’t like you…. well no need to even finish that sentence… Isolation is tough but it can be a good opportunity to focus on you.

Stop procrastinating…. seriously…. tomorrow is not guaranteed and Boris could announce another seismic shift so go get that facial! Paint that bedroom! Enrol on that course!

Appreciate your loved ones. Spend quality time and create memories. Regular video chats until this storm is over!

Don’t sweat the small stuff…it’s so easy to drive yourself nuts when someone leaves teabags on kitchen tables daily or drinks milk from the carton. But it’s so important to put things into perspective and don’t overwhelm yourself with things that just don’t matter and are out of your control.

Be good to yourself - what does that even mean?!! I’ve been struggling to prioritise myself for awhile now and I’ve got a new perspective on self care….there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to do it all. I’m already spreading myself thin. Squeezing in the rare and coveted pedicure when I can, or treating myself to a slap up meal when the stars align and I’m baby free. My ability to take time out for myself seems to be directly influenced by my cash flow….the more money I have the more choices I have and the better my ability to ‘self care’ so 2020 has taught me to ‘go get it’! Get me some financial freedom. So I’m on a journey to living life on my own terms and that means creating wealth to make it happen.

4 weeks ago I had an ungodly sized tube stuck up my vajayjay and was fighting for my life and the life of my unborn….I was not reading Cosmo and watching Loose Women contrary to external observations! I won’t go into detail but I lost enough blood to require admission and transfusion. By the way….I know why black women are statistically more likely to die in childbirth or during prenatal and postnatal care….we’re not seen, or heard, and simply don’t matter. Controversial I know….but its true….and there’s absolutely no consequence to the shocking treatment experienced by so many of us at the hands of racist medical professionals…. and I can boldly say that with no reservation, because I’ve lived it. Fortunately for me, His grace is sufficient in times of my weakness and He has bestowed on me a mouth bigger than any racist wishes to endure…. but this battle is far from over. I want a system that isn’t determined by my countenance, or by the attitude of the professional. A senior consultant recently advised me to “complain” next time I’m mistreated as though I ordered an inadequately cooked steak in Hawksmoor. White privilege allows people to make statements like this. Despite my battles I’ve won the war, I’m just tired of being thrust into the firing line. Grateful for life and love. There’s a story behind the glory.

How has your 2020 been?! Wishing you love, light and good health. I’d love to hear from you. Please comment, follow me, like and share!